Derek Hough wearing sackcloth and ashes

Poor Derek Hough is consumed with guilt. He claims it was him that persuaded Cheryl to go to Tanzania. No doubt, she'd have been more than happy with a week in Bognor, but he would drag her off to exotic climes in an attempt to impress.

Word has it that The Nation's Sweetheart ® was mere hours away from death, as she had contracted one of thte deadliest forms of malaria. Now she's not going to be able to play the V festival in August or join the X Factor Boot Camp. At least she's out of intensive care though and is now recovering in a private hospital, with Derek and mum, Joan, as frequent visitors.

Get well soon Chezza (and stick to safer climes next time, unless you can face a jab at the doc's!)