Katie the Flopstar - the results

Oh dear, Katie's assault on the charts peaked at no 61 - well outside the top 40, after selling a grand total of 2,701 copies. It seems that nothing worked for Katie in her desperate attempt to flog her record. Even the sympathy vote failed, after bessie mate/hairdresser/make up artist/concrete applier, Gary Cockrill told the media all about when Katie was raped. How was this news? She'd told us this before and he didn't reveal anything new (e.g. who the perpetrator was), other than that he'd never seen Katie look so pale (err, did she scrub off the fake tan then?)
Anyway, Katie attempted to console herself with a game of polo. Apparently Prince Harry was there too but Celebritree couldn't find any pics of the two of them together, so presumably, he gave her a wide berth...

Two Princes

Poor Becks. He has had to sit through two lacklustre England performances in South Africa, whilst unable to kick a ball to do anything about it himself; he got waylaid in the England dressing room by an irate fan and now it seems that he was recruited by the comedy duo of Princes William and Harry to try and raise morale in the England dressing room after Friday's fiasco. Judging from the lowdown in today's newspapers, they didn't prove very comedic as the atmosphere between Engerland was said to be anything but jovial - according to the aforementioned fan.
Still, at least they're not all on strike like the French team (although would anyone be able to tell the difference if they were?)