Katie on tour

Katie Price is back on the road again promoting the latest in her series of autobiographies (her fourth and she's still only 32). Strangely, the new book seems to be dedicated to her ex-husband, Pete, although she has been talking about how miserable she was during their marriage.
Meanwhile, all does not seem to be rosy in her current marriage. Apparently Katie is climbing the walls and has hired a private detective to try and find her horse trainer's missing mobile phone. Readers may recall that Katie and Pete broke up after Pete believed Katie to be getting intimate with her horse trainer, Andrew. Rumour has it that the reason Katie is over-reacting to this loss because the phone contains some steamy and incriminating text messages between her and Andrew.
She has also allegedly informed Alex that under no circumstances should he consider going on Strictly Come Dancing (would they want him?) as Katie is apparently paranoid about him getting intimate with his dance partner. Hmm, doesn't she have enough REAL stuff to worry about?

Kerry Katona's mum evicted

Kerry Katona's long-suffering mum, Sue, was evicted from her Warrington home this week. Kerry had bought the house for her mum for £37,500 when she was riding high, but it's now being sold off to help pay off Kezza's debts. Sue didn't even get to undergo the humiliation in private, as the film crew from Kerry's latest reality show venture were there to capture the whole event. Celebritree imagines Sue will be thrilled for this starring role in her daughter's TV show.

Nadine update

Nadine is hitting the promo trail hard as she prepares for the much anticipated release of her debut solo single, Insatiable.
Nadine was showing off her slim figure in a sparkly number as she performed at London's G.A.Y. nightclub last night and performed live on Paul O'Grady's chat show on Friday, after taking an apparent pop at Cheryl's X Factor performance last week as Nadine declared she would only perform on shows where she could sing live.
Nadine is also rumoured to be working on an autobiography and anything Cheryl can do, Nadine is trying to do better. Well as Cheryl's book revealed less than nothing, it won't be hard to produce something a little more scandalous. It seems Nads kept a diary during her Girls Aloud years and, now the girls have fallen out, her ghost writer has been given full access to some juicy titbits about the nation's sweetheart...

Happy holidays?

The Rooneys have taken the decision to remove themselves from the media circus and take a well-deserved break in a luxury hotel in Dubai. They have a double celebration -Wayne's birthday and his new pay packet, now he's finally signed a new contract with Man U. Coleen certainly seemed to enjoy spending his hard-earned cash as she chilled by the pool enjoying £17 mojitos and a £25 sandwich (ok, not quite Beckham sandwich levels yet...)
However, witnesses have claimed their lovey-dovey pool display was short-lived as the pair got stuck into a huge row at dinner that evening, resulting in a glass being smashed. It is claimed the pair barely acknowledged each other at the pool the following day, as they lay on adjacent sun-loungers.
Well, seems like maybe money can't buy you happiness (even if it does buy you a good time for a night, eh Wayne?)

Fashion disaster?

Apparently Cheryl Cole is rethinking her outfits for the rest of this season of X Factor, after general consensus ruled that Dannii is beating her hands down in the alleged fashion battle. It seems Cheryl had been going for an "edgier" look this season (ah, so that's what that gaffer tape was doing wrapped round her legs - or was it just trying to detract from her lip-synching?) but it has seriously backfired as Dannii's chic ensembles have proved far more popular.

Are small people the new must have accessory for celebs?

Now, thanks to his confession on Howard Stern's radio show, we all know that not only have David Arquette and Courtney Cox split, but they have decided that they are free to see other people. Following on from his dalliance with a cocktail waitress, he's now cavorting on the stage of some dodgy club with a tiny dancer. Firtst Cheryl was hiring dwarves to sing happy birthday to Simon Cowell, now David Arquette is simulating intimate acts with a dwarf lapdancer. Whatever next?

They're lovin' it

The Jolie-Pitt clan are currently hanging out in Budapest while Ange works on her directorial debut. She took a break from filming as she and Brad took two of their brood out to the famous spa baths (presumably they can't take the whole family as they would surely lose one or two. Zahara and Pax were the lucky ones this time.) Perhaps the kids were feeling homesick for the US, as they rounded off their outing with dinner at McDonald's. Somehow Celebritree imagined Ange wanting to feed her kids authentic local cuisine as part of their travelling experience...

Death of Twitter?

It seems two of Twitter's biggest fans are abandoning their followers - although Celebritree finds it hard to believe that either of these egomaniacs would want to silence their twitterings for long.
First up is Katy Perry, who is, of course, marrying Russell Brand this weekend. The couple have taken the celebrity wedding to a new extreme with their 7 day extravaganza in Jaipur, involving elephants, tigers, nose rings, henna and P-Diddy. The poor guests must be having wardrobe nightmares! The reason for Katy's silence may be that she's too busy having henna tattooed onto her hands to tweet, or it may be that she has recently been the victim of some rather mean tweets, calling her husband to be a cheating ****er.
Next to drop off the tweets is Peaches Geldof, who has admitted her break is probably temporary. Speculation suggests that this may be due to a break up with boyfriend, Eli Roth, who has stopped following her. Even he's tired of her pointless twitterings then...

Is something sinister happening in Liverpool's beauty parlours?

What is going on with eyebrows in Liverpool? First, Natasha Hamilton put in an appearance at the Mobo's in her hometown on Thursday night - the former Atomic Kitten was almost unrecognisable (and to be fair, the severe eyebrows are probably the least of her worries - the apparent trout pout, frozen forehead and filler plumped cheeks are probably slightly more concerning). Now Coleen has taken a break from counselling her husband as he battles with football's most formidable opponent, Sir Alex, to nip out to Beauty FX. She emerged a few hours later also sporting some very severe eyebrows.
What is going on? Is there a new trend to tattoo your eyebrows on in a super dark colour? Celebritree needs to know!

PETA threatens Posh

Although her recent show at New York Fashion Week had fashionistas the world over cooing with praise over her fabulous collection, it seems not everybody is impressed by Posh's designs. In fact, PETA has threatened to cover her in lizards' blood the next time she visits the UK, in protest at her lizard, crocodile and calf skin handbags. Posh's people have spoken out saying that the animals are all responsibly farmed in the US and that it's not as though Posh goes down to the Everglades to strangle the crocs (or probably 'gators in the Everglades) herself. Actually, Celebritree would be quite interested in seeing Posh in her heels and big sunnies trying to tackle a vicious reptile....

Grieving Brendan heads home

It has emerged that Brendan Cole danced on last night's Strictly hours after finding out that his father had died after a long battle with cancer. Brendan proved he is a true professional as he put on a good performance whilst his partner, Michelle Williams, looked closer to tears as she faced the judges. (Celebritree is wondering if she has ever seen the show or its US equivalent as she seems ill-prepared for the judges' criticism or the camaraderie with the other celebs - or maybe she is just trying to work out who half of them are...)
Anyway, now Brendan is on a flight back to New Zealand to be with his family, and lucky Michelle has the lovely Ian Waite to look after her until Brendan returns.

Keep Death off the Roads

Hmm, Celebritree was starting to feel that the roads of the south-east were a little safer with George Michael banned from driving. However, it seems that there's a new threat to our safety: despite recently acquiring 6 points on her licence, Katie Price doesn't seem to have learned her lesson - she arrived at the theatre to watch bessie mate, Michelle Heaton, appear in a new play (who knew she could act? Clearly there is no end to her talents: singing, acting, dancing, drinking, applying fake tan and managing to show the patience of a saint by being about the only person to maintain a close friendship with Katie for any length of time), driving whilst chatting away on her mobile. Despite Alex's rather feeble attempts to stop anyone getting a pic, Katie continued, ending up hitting a photographer and driving onto a footpath, before abandoning her vehicle for a friend to park. Can Alex not drive?
Apparently Katie has also told Alex to abandon his plans to write his autobiography, saying she doesn't want him to write about her, and that she's the only interesting thing in his life - rendering the whole idea pointless. She really is all heart....

Cheryl in tears

OK, Cheryl Cole in tears isn't really news. With the amount of emotion she manages to squeeze out on X Factor every week, she probably has some of the best exercised tear ducts in showbusiness.
The difference this time is that the tears kept coming for TWO hours as the normally private (apparently) Cheryl faced a grilling from Piers Morgan, on her near death experience with malaria over the summer and the break up of her marriage to Ashley. Cheryl admitted that she still loved the cheating rat bag and claimed, "We had a great marriage, the most fantastic wedding, but I just don't know where it went wrong." Well, first learning, Cheryl, should probably be that a big white dress, fancy reception, attended by footballers, Wags and popstrels aplenty and 230 page photo spread in OK magazine, does not a great marriage make.
Despite being billed as Cheryl revealing all, she remained coy on her current relationship status, refusing to confirm whether Derek Hough is her boyfriend or best friend. Whatever...

Katie won't like this

Kelly Brook is fresh back from California (where she seems to have been dining with her new best friend, Victoria, as Kelly's enviable curves seem to have gone AWOL).
She celebrated her return by attending the premiere of London's latest west end hit, Flashdance. Kelly's companions for her night on the town were Gary and Phil - normally not seen without Katie Price in tow (heck she was even in the middle of all their wedding photos). We can't see Katie liking having a rival for her gbfs' attentions - especially such a glamorous one!

Hollywood marriages in crisis

It seems all is not well in Hollywood at the moment: David Arquette confirmed rumours this morning that he and his wife of 11 years, Courtney Cox, have split - or rather are having a "trial separation". She is apparently emotionally involved (Hollywood speak for shagging?) with her Cougar Town costar, Brian Van Holt, whilst David has admitted to sleeping with barmaid, Jasmine Waltz (who has a string of conquests under her belt including American Idol's Ryan Seacrest). David also helpfully told the world on the radio that he and Courteney hadn't had sex for 4 months. Bet Courteney is loving that.
Elsewhere Us Magazine has revealed that Christina Aguilera and husband, Jordan Bratman have also split, though they haven't yet decided whether to divorce. Finally, actress, Laura Dern, revealed she was stunned to receive divorce papers from her husband of 5 years on Friday. Celebritree would have thought it common courtesy to inform your partner of your intentions before hitting them with divorce papers - maybe he'd been inspired by Dirty Den in some old Eastenders reruns?

Beckhams at lunch

Despite rumours that the Beckhams were cutting back (especially now that they have a load of legal bills to pay), the family enjoyed a pricey lunch at Barclay Prime in Philadelphia, with David, Victoria and their 3 boys each tucking into $100 sandwiches! Why so pricey? Well they consist of sliced Kobe beef, melted Taleggio cheese, shaved truffles, sauteed foie gras, caramelised onions and shaved heirloom tomatoes on a homemade brioche roll brushed with truffle butter and squirted with homemade mustard.
Hmm, surely Victoria didn't get that figure from scoffing such sarnies!?

Cilla Beckham?

It seems Victoria Beckham has decided to play Cilla as she is keen to set up newfound friend, Kelly Brook, whilst she is staying over in LA. Apparently Victoria has recruited David into her match-making scheme and he has a line up of hunky single men eager to show Kelly a good time.

George Michael enjoys Freedom

George Michael was released from Highpoint prison today, after his 4 week stay. He made use of the back door a few hours early to avoid the press, as long-suffering partner, Kenny Goss, picked him up and took him back to their Hampstead home, where he later told the press he was making a fresh start. Celebritree is sure that George took lots of comfort while inside from the kind letters sent by fellow 80s star/jail bird, Boy George. Boy George told the press at the weekend how much he felt for George when he was sent down, and felt he was reliving his own experiences, which he has now immortalised in song, 'Pentonville Blues'.

Suri ballerina

Suri Cruise is back home in California with mum, whilst dad is busy filming in Prague (it's all happening in eastern Europe at the moment, isn't it, with Tom in Prague and the Jolie-Pitt clan in Budapest?) She had been for her ballet class in her ballet slippers and tutu (clearly v different from ballet classes when Celebritree was Suri's age - you had to be a prima ballerina before they let you out of the unflattering black leotard) and enjoyed a treat from Baskin' Robbins as Katie carried her home. Does anyone else wonder why Katie is all togged up for a chilly day whilst Suri has bare arms, legs and an ice cream?

Mel B hits the town as hubby hits out

Melanie B and husband, Stephen Belafonte, are in London to promote her new reality tv show, 'It's a Scary World'. Although their relationship seems to be harmonious, despite Steven recently starting rumours that they were to divorce, Stephen seemed to be a little stressed, as he was involved in a violent brawl in the Mayfair hotel bar, after a few cocktails. Nobody seemed to know the reason for the fracas, but the other guy ended up with blood running down his head, Mel looked on horrified and the police were called.
Still, they enjoyed a more chilled night out the following evening as they hit Stringfellow's followed by Spearmint Rhino. She's all class, that Scary Spice, isn't she?!

Simon brings in the lawyers whilst Cheryl is forced into an embarrassing U-turn

So Gamu-gate rumbles on, as poor Gamu admits that she is scared for her life if forced to return to Zimbabwe. Simon Cowell has told the world that the X Factor staff had no idea of Gamu's potential visa issues and that he has now instructed his lawyers to defend her and her family to prevent deportation.
So, Cheryl, who was so keen to rescue her "nation's sweetheart" reputation, that she claimed that she was told not to pick Gamu by X Factor producers, who knew about her visa situation, has now been forced into an embarrassing u-turn, saying the decision was hers and hers alone, as Simon tries to rescue the X Factor brand.
Katie Wassail, the girl who is supposed to have taken what the public feel should have been Gamu's place, is favourite to be dumped from the first live show this weekend. Whatever else, the news coverage should ensure Simon gets the viewing figures he is after!

Cheryl faces the music

Cheryl was seen out and about for the first time since the whole Gamu row broke out, as she ventured out from her home (where she has had to increase security following death threats - hmm, nobody ever gets quite this upset about Strictly Come Dancing do they?!) to head to the studios to help her girls prepare for the first live show in this series tomorrow night. Still despite all the stresses of the last few days, Cheryl still has her sense of humour(?!) as she had arranged a surprise birthday gift for Simon: a trio of performing dwarves wearing t-shirts with the message "happy birthday Simon, love Cheryl). Simon looks thrilled, doesn't he?

WAGs won over with holidays

Clearly the way to a WAG's heart is a holiday. This week the Rooneys have been on a "second honeymoon" in Prague as they try to patch up their marriage. It hasn't all been fun and expensive restaurants for Coleen though - she has been working on a Littlewoods' photo shoot, but has, of course, been spending as much time with Wayne as possible.
In the warmer climes of Dubai, Peter Crouch has been showering attention on his 14 week pregnant fiancée, Abbey Clancy, who was showing off the beginnings of a baby bump. Sadly their break was cut short when Pete was called up for the England squad.

Beckham boys support Dad, David

The Beckham boys were there to cheer on Dad, David, as he scored a goal for the Galaxy. The three boys looked like all-American kids as they sang along to the US national anthem (although Celebritree reckons Brooklyn is starting to look like a sulky teenager already) and cheered enthusiastically as David scored and then stuck his tongue out at the cameras.
David is now facing a counter-lawsuit, as hooker, Irma Nici, has hit him with a lawsuit for all the distress he has caused her. Hmm, probably best not to start selling stories to gossip mags if you can't cope with the fallout, love.

Suri has an off day

Celebritree can only imagine that Suri was having an off day as she and her mum headed out shopping. As regular readers know, Suri makes all the sartorial decisions in the Cruise household - well she hasn't let herself down, as she steps out in perfectly coordinated pink outfit. However, mum, Katie looks a bit of a dowdy mess. Was Suri having an off day or has Katie rebelled and made some wardrobe choices of her own? If so, Celebritree suggests she put Suri back on dressing duty asap.

Is the nation's sweetheart falling out of favour?

Could the nation's sweetheart be heading for a fall? Last night's X-factor has provoked an outpouring of fury at Cheryl's bizarre selections in her final 3 - two of the girls she picked were not even capable of performing due to throat problems, nerves etc. The press were ready to stick the knife in as Cheryl faced fresh accusations of racism for failing to put through the "best singer on the show", Gamu Nhengu. Even Sinitta couldn't believe it as she tweeted on in horror at Cheryl"s choices. Mind you, Sinitta was probably glad of something to twitter on about.
Of course, Cheryl knows what makes great tv as she broke the news to the unlucky five and to her "favourite", vulnerable Cher. As the finalists stocked up on food at the local Sainsbury's today, Cher was pushing the boat out and planning to binge on a fruit salad and Red Bull.
Celebritree foresees lots more tears from Cheryl and Cher before this series reaches its end.

Katie has egg on her face

Another week, another court case for Katie Price. The poor love was out having a quiet meal with her mum and husband this weekend, as she prepares to face Peter in the courtroom. However, their quiet night out descended into chaos when they left the restaurant at about 11pm and found a gang of youths waiting to throw eggs at them. Katie called the police whilst fighter Alex tried to fend them off. Word had clearly got round that Katie was in town, and team Andre were clearly well-armed. Thankfully no serious damage though Katie's long-suffering mum, Amy, seemed to brad the brunt of the attack.

Coca-cola has had to change its marketing plans as the powers that be in Atlanta have decided that a footballer who pays prostitutes to indulge in threesomes whilst his pregnant wife is at home and urinates in public, does not represent the brand's wholesome image. Rooney's face was supposed to be appearing on cans and bottles of Coke Zero, but plans have now been canned (Celebritree would have found Rooney's mug on her drink most off-putting!)!
No comment from the Rooneys, who are now attending marriage guidance to get their lives (and brand) back on track...

Peter and Katie - reunited in court

Peter and Katie are gearing up this weekend to face each other in court. Peter has issued a writ against Katie for comments she made on the Graham Norton show that he had cheated on her with his manager, Claire and in a magazine article in which Katie suggested that Pete's song about his "Unconditional" love for Harvey made him a hypocrite. Apparently Katie thinks the whole thing is a waste of time (guess she is getting tired of court rooms after her recent driving case) but Pete reckons he needs to see the case through as he just doesn't know what his ex is going to say about him next. Expect some juicy details about their split as Phil and Gary (amongst others) take to the stand.

Becks accused again

The Beckhams must still be reeling as they pursue a court case against a magazine that accused David of sleeping with a prostitute. Now there is a new story doing the rounds: US socialite and mother of two (who attend school with the Beckham boys), Shery Sabani, has claimed in court papers, filed against her husband, that he has accused her of having an affair with the footballer. She claims he is delusional and has even threatened to drive Becks off the road. Poor, confused Beckham denies it all.
Celebritree imagines that Victoria will no longer be lending her sunglasses to this "friend".

Sinitta avoids the ranks of unemployed

Phew! Celebritree had been worrying what poor old Sinitta would do with herself after rumours earlier this year that Simon was looking for alternatives to his pop 'star' ex to help him in his mentoring of this year's X Factor victims (sorry, contestants).  Well either Simon couldn't find any other friends or the press had it wrong as Sinitta has had a reprieve and will be there in all her fashion glory.  Celebritree wonders if Simon is having any regrets after seeing her in this get-up... Yep, Sinitta rocked up in a silver leotard, black over the knee boots and a jewelled headband. Apparently she wanted to provide contestants with light relief - hmm, let's hope they could stop laughing long enough to actually sing for their auditions!