Cheryl gets the elbow

After what seems to be months of speculation, it has finally (apparently) been confirmed that Cheryl Cole will NOT be a judge on the new US X Factor. Instead, she will have a Sinitta type role as Simon's "little helper". It seems that the main stumbling blocks have been her Geordie accent - despite elocution lesson (it seems it's against US TV regulations to have presenters that nobody understands...) and the fact that very few people Stateside have a clue who she is. Rumour has it that Naomi Campbell is being lined up as judge instead. Clearly US audiences can cope with the sound of Streatham rather better than Chezza's Geordie lilt. Still, on the plus side, it does mean that Cheryl can stick closer to home, as she has sworn to take time out to look after her brother, Andrew, who has been warned to give up alcohol or he risks liver failure. Having had many drug convictions, can't see him being able to hang out in LA with his little sis.
As if Cheryl hasn't got enough to worry about, she seems to be making life even more complicated for herself by regularly calling her ex, Ashley Cole. Now it seems that nice boy, Derek Hough, is getting bored hanging around like Cheryl's lapdog and may have found a new girl of his own - a co-star in some new dance movie he's working on. And earlier this week, Cheryl was spotted looking very flirty with another blonde chap - who turned out to be her hair technician (so clearly key in her life). She also has admitted to a soft spot for star of the BRITs, Tinie Tempah. Although Cheryl left the awards ceremony without any silverware for her mantelpiece, it seems that she did leave with Tinie's phone number and is keen to work with him as they both try to break the US market.

Cheryl keeping it real

Cheryl Cole has recently moved into her new home and has proven just what a down to earth girl she is by phoning up Enfield council to order her own wheelie bin. Good to know she's found time to get these tedious chores out of the way, whilst still trying to work out what is happening in the US - the latest rumours are that she might be taking on Sinitta's role, as Simon's mentor/companion. If that's true, no doubt Sinitta will be furiously tweeting sometime soon.
If she does get a US X Factor role, Cheryl also stands to get a £1million contract with Pepsi, apparently.
However, her plans for Valentine's Day are not clear as she has told Derek Hough to back off amid rumours that she is seriously considering taking Ashley back, despite warnings from Simon Cowell that she would lose all credibility if she does.

Cheryl earns some pocket money

Cheryl has popped over to Italy this weekend to earn herself a nice little bit of pin money, courtesy of Audi. She performed at their staff party, pocketing £250,000 for the hour long in Venice.
Clearly Elton John wouldn't have enjoyed that particular party, as his sharp tongue has finally re-emerged after several weeks of cuddly baby talk. Elton has been laying into his fellow pop stars, including airing his opinion that Cheryl's music is "crap". She got off lightly compared to Kim Kardashian, who Elton described as a "stupid old tart".
Anyway, back to Cheryl: it seems Derek has been taking his girlfriend's musci to heart, as he is preparing to "fight for this love" as rumours continue that Ashley and Cheryl are continuing to share cosy phone conversations...

Chezza contemplating a return to Ash?

Well, a week is a long time in politics, and Cheryl Cole's life, it would seem. As Cheryl confirms she's staying Cole by renewing her passport in her married name, rather than reverting to her maiden name of Tweedy (even fewer people in the US have heard of Cheryl Tweedy than have any idea of Cheryl Cole's identity), it seems that things may be cooling off between her and Derek, as he has shown a distinct disdain for her love of tattoos (and there's no hiding from them, especially after the latest monstrosity, that appears to stretch from her lower back to her upper thighs). Still, one man who apparently isn't put off by Cheryl's love of body ink, is ex-hubby, Ashley. Following his break up with Playboy bunny, Kayla, he and Cheryl have met up at their marital home to see if they still have any common ground. Allegedly Ash is desperate to persuade his ex-wife to stay in the UK and, surprisingly, Ma Tweedy seems to be siding with Ash - clearly she hasn't taken to the condo Dezza plans for her in LA! It seems Cheryl still holds a bit of a torch for Ash and may be persuaded to abandon her burning ambition to take on the States, but her friends are all keen for her to make the clean break. Phew! Could Cheryl be about to blow it all?
Still, in case Cheryl is worrying that she is no longer the nation's sweetheart, no doubt she will be comforted by the results to two surveys (errr, WHO arranges these surveys? And why? And has anyone ever been asked any of these random questions by someone carrying out one of these surveys?!): apparently Cheryl is the celebrity that most people would like to name their dog after and she beats Britney Spears to be the celebrity that people would most like to employ as a babysitter... (Do these people not like their children? Celebritree knows that they've since cleaned up their act, but Brit practically had to be sectioned and lost custody of her own kids, whilst Cheryl appeared in court on assault charges. Surely there are more suitable celeb babysitters? Err, Katie Price, Angelina Jolie, Victoria Beckham...?!)

Ashley back on his own

Despite claiming at the start of their relationship, just 5 weeks ago, that she hoped he was "the one" and rumours that she had already moved her stuff into Cheryl's empty wardrobes, it seems it's all over for Kayla Collins and Ashley Cole. They were apparently heard having a fierce row after attending a P Diddy party together.
Still, clearly Kayla is not one to let the grass grow under her feet and seems to have moved on already, as she was seen leaving Deuces nightclub in Essex last night with its owner, The Only Way is Essex star/love rat, Mark Wright. Whether it was the right decision remains to be seen, as it seems he showed her the glamour of the local McDonald's on their way home, and Kayla is feeling somewhat the worse for wear this morning.
Celebritree is left wondering why Mark, who probably had the pick of the women in his club, chose to go home with someone wearing leggings that look as though they were left over from a Laura Ashley sale circa 1985...
Still, Ashley, Kerry Katona and Katie Price are both available, in case you're feeling lonely....

Chezza and Dezza - the holiday is over

Cheryl and Derek are now back from their new year holiday in South Africa. They flew back in style, with the nation's sweetheart now considered worthy of a visit to the Windsor lounge at Heathrow airport. This exclusive area is normally reserved for the PM, royal family and any visiting royals, Presidents and the Beckhams, but Cheryl enjoyed the privileges offered for just £3,000.
The holiday seemed to be a resounding success (and hopefully no mosquito bites this time) with the pair keeping to themselves apart from the Hogmanay party. Instead they preferred to have nights in watching some of Cheryl's favourite DVDs - including Marley & Me and Dirty Dancing. The only problems on their holiday seem to have been Cheryl and Ashley's text exchanges, and the fact that Derek is a bit of a messy pup, whilst Cheryl is said to be verging on OCD. Still, good to know that they have oral hygiene in common: apparently they are both obsessed with brushing their teeth...
Meanwhile, despite the texting, Ashley does seem to have moved on. Barely had Cheryl moved out of Hurtmore House, before Ash had moved I'm a Celeb star and former Playboy bunny, Kayla Collins, in!

The holiday continues

Chezza and Dezza are now in the second week of their sunshine trip in South Africa and still seem to be having a ball. Despite the news that he has found a new love, apparently Ashley was left "close to tears" when he saw pictures of his ex-wife cosying up with Derek at a Hogmanay party. Apparently the exes had exchanged Christmas gifts just before Cheryl headed off into the sun with her new man and have been exchanging texts late into the night during her holiday, much to Derek's frustration. Celebritree wonders if Ashley's goodies measured up to Derek's £10,000 diamond bracelet that he apparently presented to Cheryl.
Still, her expensive new jewellery was not on show as she and Derek hit the shops (either he's very patient, or those gay rumours might have a whiff of truth about them, if Derek can match Cheryl's passion for shopping). Cheryl showed her usual ability for dressing appropriately as she stepped (or should that be tripped?) out in a skimpy shiny shirt dress and sky-high heels (that she had to remove as they were too high even for Cheryl). She was also wearing a friendship beaded bracelet, which is apparently sold to raise funds to fight malaria. Her alleged new beau, Derek, was wearing an identical bracelet, in a further declaration of his love (no doubt). Best get yourself one of those then Ash!
If one thing is guaranteed to make Derek run for the Hollywood Hils, it's comments from one of Cheryl's "close friends" in this week's New! magazine, "She says she can’t wait any longer and wants a baby – even if it means doing it before her and Derek get married. She’s incredibly broody.” So keen is Cheryl to create a mini-me, that she has appanrently even started looking for nursery equipment online and wants to emulate her frenemy, Dannii Minogue in combining motherhood with her career... Well, it would certainly prove to any doubters out there that she and Derek are the real deal and not a publicity "fauxmance" as some cynics are claiming.

A new playmate for Ash?

It seems that Ashley Cole has found himself a new playmate - former Playboy Playmate and, more recently known as star of I'm a Celebrity, Kayla Collins. Apparently Kayla was keen to meet a British guy, thinking them so cute. Perhaps to this end, she threw a party at the Funky Buddha nightclub and Ashley was one of those so-called hot Brits in attendance. The two chatted, hit it off and have apparently been on a couple of dates since. In fact, Kayla think that Ashley could be "the one" - err, don't rush in too quickly, Kayla! Ashley will be relieved that Cheryl has given his new relationship her blessing, saying that she is happy that he has moved on. Phew! Although maybe Cheryl just has other worries: as she prepares for her big move to the US, she is apparently feeling threatened by Leona Lewis. It seems Leona is wanting a change in direction and is keen to work with Will.i.am. Cheryl isn't keen on the idea, as she is anxious to establish herself on the other side of the Atlantic, and doesn't want another of Simon's protégées getting in her way.

Cheryl in tears

OK, Cheryl Cole in tears isn't really news. With the amount of emotion she manages to squeeze out on X Factor every week, she probably has some of the best exercised tear ducts in showbusiness.
The difference this time is that the tears kept coming for TWO hours as the normally private (apparently) Cheryl faced a grilling from Piers Morgan, on her near death experience with malaria over the summer and the break up of her marriage to Ashley. Cheryl admitted that she still loved the cheating rat bag and claimed, "We had a great marriage, the most fantastic wedding, but I just don't know where it went wrong." Well, first learning, Cheryl, should probably be that a big white dress, fancy reception, attended by footballers, Wags and popstrels aplenty and 230 page photo spread in OK magazine, does not a great marriage make.
Despite being billed as Cheryl revealing all, she remained coy on her current relationship status, refusing to confirm whether Derek Hough is her boyfriend or best friend. Whatever...

A Bad Weekendfor Ashley?

Having had his "quickie" divorce finalised at the end of last week, Ashley's weekend wasn't much better as his rented Esher flat was apparently burgled whilst he was playing for England at Wembley. Poor Ashley found his place ransacked when he returned home from his night out/national duties on Saturday morning.

Ashley nurtures his broken heart

Following his team's success in the first Premiership match of the season, Ashley enjoyed a "messy weekend" (quote Sarah) at the Mayfair hotel with new squeeze, Sarah Purnell (who claims that people - including Ashley - think she's the spitting image of the nation's sweetheart). Hmm, does Ashley really want to recreate that car crash?

She has been regularly updating her Twitter followers in a most unsubtle way, ensuring maximum exposure (ahem!) as she arrived at and left the hotel.

Girls Aloud - no reunion soon

Well, it seems that much longed for reunion of Girls Aloud isn't on the cards any time soon. Fresh from telling the world that she has only slept with two boyfriends, blabbermouth, Kimberley Walsh, has now shared with the media that the girls are all enjoying their own projects so much that they have decided to extend the break until at least March or April next year. (Hmm, some girls might be enjoying projects, whilst others must just be enjoying twiddling their thumbs...)
Meanwhile, Cheryl has told Ashley to stay away from her sick bed. Hmm, from his recent holiday snaps, Ash didn't look like he was in a hurry to tend to any poorly ex...

Chezza Health Update

So, it seems the nation's sweetheart® may be on the mend, as she's texting Simon Cowell, giving him grief and letting him know how desperate she is to return to work. Maybe she's getting a little antsy at all the attention Nicole Scherzinger is getting in her place...

Something she's not so keen to deal with, apparently, are her divorce papers. Mum, Joan, is going out of her mind as she's desperate that Cheryl deal with the paperwork so that they can all get Ashley out of their lives for good. Cheryl, though, finds it all too stressful to deal with right now. Another thing worrying poor Chezza is her voice - which she has lost. Despite reassurances from doctors, Cheryl fears she may never perform again... (hmm, Nadine, maybe that gives you chance to steal her thunder and get your album out!)

It's a nice day for a WAG wedding

Saturday was a big day for footballers - now the World Cup is over, they can concentrate on the important things in life - like getting married. First up is Sol Campbell, who married Fiona Barratt in Corbridge, near Newcastle. Attendees included Rio Ferdinand and Ashley Cole (who turned up with no +1, so lock up your daughters Geordies!) Apparently Ashley was jeered by local onlookers - no doubt partly from the frustration of England's performance and partly from his ill treatment of local girl, Chezza. Sol met Fiona through his ex-girlfriend, Kelly Hoppen - Fiona worked for Kelly in her interior design business and ended up running off with her boyfriend. It's safe to say that Kelly wasn't in attendance...
Elsewhere, Dutch star, Wesley Sneijder married Dutch TV presenter, Yolanthe Cabau van Kasbergen, in Tuscany. Their relationship came out into the open when they were photographed making out in an underground car park. Wes was already married (his 4 year old son by his first marriage was in attendance yesterday) and Yolanthe was living with a major Dutch pop star. This one looked like a very tasteful affair, with Yolanthe wearing a dress that Katie P would probably kill for, and Wes wearing a shiny blue suit. Nice.

Cheryl home and ready for visitors

Good news readers! Cheryl Cole has finally left hospital and is continuing her recuperation at her Hurtmore home. Mother, Joan, is keeping a vigil by her bedside and guarding her daughter to ensure she keeps to her doctors' advice (Chezza is facing an alcohol and sex ban, allegedly) and to protect her from any unwanted visitors...
Talking of which, Ashley is back home in Blighty after his lads' holiday in the US. It seems Derek is still hanging around, overcome with guilt that he is to blame for the malaria, whilst Will.i.am has been showering Cheryl with bouquets of flowers and is said to be planning a trip over to visit.
Derek's Dancing with the Stars partner, Nicole Scherzinger, has extended her stay on X Factor to cover for Cheryl and Dannii's absences, although apparently Cheryl is keen that her Girls Aloud mate, Kimberly Walsh, should keep her judge's seat warm until she's fully recovered.
Talking of Girls Aloud, Joan is keen for her daughter to catch up with her bandmates. However, it seems unlikely that Nadine is going to be hot on the heels of Ashley and Will over the Atlantic. Apparently the first Nadine knew of her bandmate's brush with death was when fans informed her via Twitter (Celebritree wonders is anyone ever picks up the phone any more, or even emails, does everything just get announced via Twitter?), although, obviously she's very concerned, as her granddad had it. So, can't see a Girls Aloud reunion on the horizon any time soon, especially with Cheryl's solo album release postponed (it was scheduled for October), which makes Celebritree wonder - where is Nadine's long-promised solo effort?

Ashley enjoys his holiday

Whilst fellow England stars, Wayne and Frank, romance their other halves on sun-drenched beaches, Ashley has headed to California for his holiday. He seems to have found a whole crowd of classy ladies to help him take his mind off the World Cup. Here's one who decided to grab his attention by flashing her breasts at him in a nightclub.
No sign of his girlfriend, Sarah Purnell, though...

Will Ash never learn?

So, in case anyone was in any doubt that the England team's minds (small, endangered items that they are) were on something other than football, during 'the most important tournament of their lives', the proof has come today in an interview with an anonymous model by the Sunday Mirror.
For, it seems that Ashley spent his time in South Africa sending the model (who he got in touch with initially via Facebook) 139 fairly explicit texts - anything to while away those hours in a luxury hotel. In the texts he begged her to send him 'real dirty' pictures of her - she responded by downloading some from the internet that didn't show her face. He seemed to enjoy them apparently. It served as a useful distraction as he complained of being bored and then bragged about getting drunk at the England hotel.
Ashley's new girlfriend, Sarah Purnell, has been talking to the press about how everyone thinks she looks like Cheryl (a complete mug?) and how Ashley no longer loves his ex-wife (err, Sarah, Celebritree doubts he ever did. Does Ashley actually love anyone other than his own reflection?)
Despite not being England's worst player on the pitch during the World Cup, seems Ashley might be about to reclaim his position as the least popular man in football. Add the repeat sexting offence to his laughing with teammates just hours after the humiliating loss against Germany and saying that he hated England and their "f***ing fans" and Celebritree reckons that Ashley will get a hard time from away fans next season...

Oh good! The Rooneys are getting a well-deserved holiday.

Wayne, Coleen and Kai arrived in Barbados today, to spend some time at their multi-million pound villa. Coleen even managed a smile for the paps. Wayne managed to not look quite so cheerful, despite finally getting his break from the football and media pressure. Rumour has it that this holiday was actually booked 2 days before England went out to Germany. Perhaps Wayne had looked into his crystal ball then...
Still - he's having an easier time of it than Ashley Cole (see below). Rumours are also afoot that Beckham had to play peace-maker after John Terry tried to create unrest in the camp and seemed to try and threaten Gerrard's captaincy. Celebritree is sure that we won't hear the last of this England fiasco for some time to come.

Belated happy birthday Chezza!

Cheryl Cole turned 27 yesterday. Poor old Derek Hough was doubtless stressing about what to buy for the woman who seems to have it all - especially as he apparently felt the need to compete with big-buck earning Ashley.
Still maybe the news that she had been voted 2nd most attractive woman of the century (in the highly esteemed QVC poll) made Cheryl's day. That and the fact that her assault on the US media may be taking a lucky turn as she is rumoured to be a contestant on the next series of Dancing with the Stars.
Well, her life certainly beats Ashley's at the mo. Apparently he's received death threats after he tweeted something about hating England and its fans. What a proud moment for England to have Cashley representing them with three lions on his shirt...

Back to Work

The nation's sweetheart was back at work today, glowing after her wonderful holiday in Tanzania. Not for our Chezza the Monday morning blues - oh no! She appeared at the X Factor's latest auditions in orange.
Still not all is perfect in the world of Cheryl. Apparently rumour has it that she DOES want to keep the marital home and will fight Ashley tooth and nail for it. Also, it seems that somebody has dared criticise the nation's sweetheart after she admitted in a magazine interview that she had borrowed money from a loan shark to get herself some hairspray, mascara and a new outfit in her bid for stardom. Debt advisers have branded her "irresponsible".